17: Breaking out of the system (written 3 September 2015)
Wake up every morning and it feels like a cage you cannot break out of. You haven’t really thought if before like this, but today, you feel like breaking out of the system. Breaking, or breaking the system, perhaps, or both.
Perhaps if you’re lucky enough, you can break out of the system, but what would that mean? You’ve considered living as a hikikomori because school is no longer a place of enjoyment for you. This is the perfect age for you to be thinking about being a hikikomori even though you are not of Japanese descent.
You want to break the cycle. Stop going to school, stop talking to people you know, stop doing everything that’s part of your weekly grin, disobey the system, disobey the higher-ups. But the fear of losing it all…this must just be a passing feeling.
P.S. Yes it was a passing feeling and I did manage to break the system for a while until it sort of backfired on me…