89: The Way She Loves (drabble) v1
She’s all about breaking the system, changing the system so that it works for her. So, naturally, when she sees those romantic comedies or deep romance films, she’ll want something that’s not cliché like that; she’ll want something more complex, like a near unsolvable puzzle. She’ll want to twist her own feelings in such a way that she won’t understand them and she’ll try to understand them and she’ll force them onto her partner but she’ll never understand; she will have twisted it so much, wrung it out like a sponge to breaking point.
The way she loves is frightening. She will never tell him that she loves him, only that she “likes him a lot”. She will always wait for him to reaffirm his love for her first before she gives him her own reaffirmation. She will break down his walls slowly and use his bricks to build hers higher. Perhaps that is why her wall is so high, impossible to climb, even for her.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that she loves her man. She’ll treat him roughly, beat him up with nasty words with an acidic tone and confuse him with her declarations of “love” for him. Even though he suffers under her presence, he still loves her. He is blinded by love, and under her spell, he will not wake up until she leaves. But she does not want to leave him; perhaps he is the best thing to have happened to her in a while. He loves her wholly, treats her right, gives her everything she wants, but what about her? She does the complete opposite, like she needs to prove something to herself. He’ll never understand, she’ll never understand and they’re not supposed to be together like this. He deserves someone who isn’t thinking like this. He deserves someone who doesn’t take the bricks of his walls to make her own.
I have hope that she will eventually leave him alone. She should love wholesomely and not brokenly, I suppose. Her definition of love is twisted, sure, but I think she still loves, even though she denies that it’s a part of her.