A little girl of seventeen years of age is not doing well at school, losing motivation, harbours fear of her peers and family, possesses a terrible sleeping schedule, worried about everything. There was a time where she didn’t care at all, and now it’s come back to haunt her.
Woke up late. Went to a restaurant with my family and a new family of people I didn’t know. My cousin got married. I went home and slept. Woke up to disappointment and fear. Showered and ate a light dinner. Desperately tried to finish inverse trig homework. Now I’m here. I’m blanketed by constant fear and disappointment, and regretting that for one moment, I had wanted to throw all caution to the wind and just give up my first kiss to whoever.
Every now and then I’ll wake up,
Really wake up.
Think about my life, what I’ve done,
What I’ve achieved, what I’ve left.
Reflect on past mistakes, memories
Regretting, rejoicing, remembering
A flurry of emotions, a flurry of sequences
A flurry of people
Caught up in the moment, lost it all
I’ll have to switch off soon
So I’ll reminisce as much as I can
Before I have to return to the real world
205: Dreaming of First Kisses
Lofty, floating. It’s all a haze, a dream sequence. First time thinking about this in a long time, first time thinking about since I’ve turned seventeen. I’m not sure if the haze is because of the montage of other girls’ first kisses superimposed on each other, or if I’m simply tired of waiting…
Passionate, alluring, fiery, awkward, earth shattering, emancipating, cathartic, emblazoned in someone’s memory… which one shall it be when I have my first?
Awe-inspiring, wet, I don’t know. I might as well kiss a stranger to find out. I’m tired of waiting.
Can confirm I am somewhat sleepy and in a daze while writing this
204: Life After
Every now and then, we need to wake up. Lay our lives down, think about every single step we’ve taken to get to where we are now. Like everyone else, we’ve had our ups and downs, but the only difference is that these are our memories, not everyone else’s.
Life goes on and we just need to move with it…
At some point I will start writing again
It’s like a grey cloud that keeps raining on your parade, and it doesn’t stop raining. It’s like feeling that you need to give up everything you’ve ever loved doing.
So I got back my assessment mark for the story I worked so hard on and it’s probably safe to say that I will never write another creative again.
Oh who am I kidding
Apparently there wasn’t enough plot going on. Do you need plot for a good short story though? I guess. I need to let it go. I can’t let it affect me so much. The writer that I want to be isn’t going to be defined by some mark. But I let my life revolve around this so much. It was one turbulent month.
I’ll rewrite everything. I’ll change the characters. I’ll change everything. I need to see myself in a better light. I don’t have time for negativity. I’ll get full marks and acknowledgement that I am a decent writer, or I’ll die trying.
Same with getting into dentistry. I’ll do my best to get into dentistry, or die trying. I want to either achieve my life goals or die trying.
So much disappointment in one post
202: Sour Grapes
By some scientific miracle or divine intervention, a few grapes fell from their height and the fox gobbled them up instantly. And instantly, from the infusion of sourness in his mouth sprang regret, guilt and annoyance.