Woke up late. Went to a restaurant with my family and a new family of people I didn’t know. My cousin got married. I went home and slept. Woke up to disappointment and fear. Showered and ate a light dinner. Desperately tried to finish inverse trig homework. Now I’m here. I’m blanketed by constant fear and disappointment, and regretting that for one moment, I had wanted to throw all caution to the wind and just give up my first kiss to whoever.