255: It’s You
Lately, I’ve been thinking about you again. I don’t bother conjuring up a face to match the feelings or the memories anymore, because there have been too many of you and frankly, none of you were the right one. So I don’t bother with your face anymore. I think about the feelings and the memories you gave me. I think more about how I felt when I first met you, and then when I met you more times. I think about how I felt when we had clandestine meetings with each other. I reflect on the childish nervousness I felt, the rush of adrenalin, how illicit everything seemed to feel because my mother doesn’t know about more than half of the things that go on in my life outside of the home. My arms, my fingertips, my lips, they all remember your hugs, your jawline, your kisses. Not that I’ve been kissed. Haha. But I know better than that. It’s just nice to think about.
And sometimes I see people do couple-y things that I also want to do. Maybe I’ll tell you about them one day, maybe not. I don’t know. At some point in my life I want to be able to go to sleep with a smile on my face rather than trying to fall asleep so I can smile