271: Kinds of Love
I always wonder what kind of love I’ll have when I’m in my twenties. Will I have that immature, underdeveloped whirlwind romance with a boy who won’t understand me? Will I have a fast, passionate, violent kind of love with a man who constantly seeks pleasure? Or will I have a quiet, blossoming, beautiful love that starts in the soles of the feet and eventually embraces the heart and soul wholesomely?
For one I would probably want a combination of passionate and quiet and philosophically beautiful kind of love. But I’d want to fall in love for real. Not that kind of thing where you meet a guy and instantly like him because he is good looking. More like, almost, a man you meet in a bar and you share your life stories, then exchange phone numbers and over time you understand each other a bit better and then with every day that passes by you realise you wake up smiling and refreshed no matter how few the hours of sleep you’ve had and then you realise you’ve fallen in love slowly, but when you realise this you fall even deeper and you don’t want to leave this blissful reality…
So of course my heart breaks when I think of these things so late at night because it’s so painfully unrealistic and given my string of failures as a teenager, could I ever hope to be successful in love as an adult? Maybe, if I change my ways. And grow up.