350: So I Bought a Ring (SOC)
Cheap, simple. I’ll get better rings. I just feel that the idea of having a ring makes me more of a lousy romantic that I’ve always wanted to be.
I’m calmer now. I have forgiven my honey. But I get insecure now. I don’t like when this happens. I like what this is, but I don’t like the bad stuff that comes with it. Summer is getting very very hot. I miss seeing people in my life.
Basically all I’m doing is just being a lousy romantic. Hopeless as well, but mostly lame. I get insecure. I haven’t so much as properly looked at another man or boy or whoever. I don’t look in their eyes and wonder if they could be the one because they aren’t. I don’t think other people do the same. Why does everyone think that girl – who can sing and has a cold and calculating demeanour when she doesn’t need to be flirtatious and fun – is pretty? That bothers me. I wonder if he thinks of her. Probably not. He’s got enough shit on his hands. I’m just feeling calmer but a lot more depressed. How do I sleep this off and wake up in the morning feeling regretful but forgetting everything that happened in the night?
And I can’t even control my dreams. Maybe I dream of people asking me out because subconsciously I want to be asked out on dates, just not by those people. I just want that one special person to ask me out rather than oh who am I kidding never mind it’s fine lol all good in the hood you know what I’m saying yo 310 days left to HSC and 235 days left to UMAT no worries it is all good in the hood