356: The Art Monster

356: The Art Monster

“That night on TV, I saw the tattoo I wished my life had warranted. If you have not known suffering, love me. A Russian murderer beat me to it.”
― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation

“My plan was to never get married. I was going to be an art monster instead. Women almost never become art monsters because art monsters only concern themselves with art, never mundane things. Nabokov didn’t even fold his own umbrella. Vera licked his stamps for him.”
― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation

We studied an extract of Dept. of Speculation in English class yesterday morning. I was surprised, being forced to confront the idea that perhaps I am an art monster. Seeking to destroy others or be a mild inconvenience to draw inspiration for creative purposes, to allow liquid thoughts to be translated by stiff pen ink.

If you have not known suffering, love me. I am sorry, honey. I am so sorry. I have hurt you countless times and made you pay for the suffering even though it was charged to my name. You have, however, known suffering before me. Yet loving me will bring you overwhelming emotions that you cannot find with others. Like I told you yesterday, I am an art monster. Our woes, our passion, our love, our hatred, all interwoven in words only extracted from pain. Pain that demands to be felt, that demands to destroy.

But I am probably an art monster by night, when I’m most lucid.

Good luck for all your exams. I will choreograph a dance for you at some point.

 

~ Serendipitous

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