395: If I Died Tomorrow

395: If I Died Tomorrow 

Then I wouldn’t have to do my related task. But there are more things I wouldn’t be able to do. I wouldn’t have to do my HSC or UMAT, but I’d never be able to get in my dream course. I’d never reach my weight goal. I’d never get to kiss my honey again. I’d never get to tell him again how much I love him. I’d never get a chance to hug my parents and sister and tell them how much I love them. I’d never get to spend another day with my honey; in fact I’d never get to spend my life with him, even though I would have given him a little infinity within our reality. I’d never get to write another post on this blog.

So I guess I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things if I died tomorrow. The likelihood of getting into a car accident on any ordinary day is higher than winning the lottery. See, that’s funny, everyone thinks they’ve got the winning ticket, but no one thinks that it’s they who’ll be involved in a car accident.

God, that’s scary. But honestly, I’m just having a moment. I am afraid that I can’t attain my dreams, and that seems like a very real possibility. If I can’t make it…it’s too hard to think about. When you have a dream for ten years and the most vigorous passion in the world for that field can only go so far when it doesn’t have the test scores to match it, well.

So if I died tomorrow…I would die knowing I wouldn’t get to experience all the good things that will come after the HSC is over. I would die knowing I’ll never be able to give my honey the happiness he deserved from me. I would die knowing I wasn’t ready to die.

But seriously, when are we ever ready to die? I can’t answer that right now.

 

~ Serendipitous

Discovered Beenzino when I clicked on Youtube mixed playlist for Zico’s mixtape Heart is hurt and I was so overjoyed inside. I love discovering Korean hip hop artists that have a really neat beat and voice. Often, though, I tend to resist that desire for discovery because Zico is so good that I have tunnel vision for him sometimes. Beenzino!! 🙂

 

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