409: Intoxicated

409: Intoxicated

I think I am drunk, but I’m not sure. Maybe a light buzz. While I was taking sips I was feeling these warm tingling feelings in my ears, in the soles of my feet, blossoming warmth in my chest, my throat on kind of embers. I had a big glass of wine. My sister said it was two standard drinks.

I took a shower afterwards and I think it’s worn off. My family is mostly made up of people with high alcohol tolerance. So I think I kind of have high alcohol tolerance but after calling my honey maybe not and my fingers are shaking typing this. Maybe it’s because it’s freezing and I don’t have enough clothes on.

Honey was laughing when I was drunk off my ass. I could hear him laughing but I just couldn’t do anything but spill out all my thoughts and yes I remember everything I said I told him how I feel about him and everything that happened in my day in full detail and I love him but he probably doesn’t love me as much as I love him but I’ll fix that I know I can hahahaha I am a drunk fool for believing that

I am so fragile. I just turned eighteen. Hello adult world. This is going to be tough to navigate. Please don’t give me a hangover. I got school tomorrow, full day and two periods of maths. And I am not even seeing my honey. He’s got that science project he’s got to finish. Call me back honey I love you! I’m not even that drunk anymore. My heart is just pounding some furious, but that’s about it.

White wine. I tried white wine. Tastes weird and disgusting but the feelings it gives me, man…give me more of that. I’d drink the whole 4.5L carton if I were depressed.

 

~ Serendipitous

Tl;dr good birthday. No one sang happy birthday to me but I don’t care. Most of my friends didn’t even say happy birthday to me until way after school. Whatever. My honey said it first. Well technically, Angela said it first, but she was 6 days early. So my honey said it first. I love my honey! Love me too. Love it. Eighteen is going to be a bittersweet ride. No more alcohol until after HSC, I guess. Eeek.

Ohhh yeah and who’s that fucker who keeps commenting on my posts (you can’t see them because I didn’t approve them).

poiuytrewq000 – you fucker come out I don’t know who the fuck you are but show yourself. I tracked your IP address and apparently you’re in Chifley, wherever that is. But IP trackers are terribly inaccurate. What’s with the throwaway email address savonna77@c7fk99.com ? Who are you?!?!?! What do you want from me?! There are only two guys I’ve ever kissed. And it isn’t either of them. Own the fuck up. Norman? I don’t even know. How can I leave someone and how can I think of you if I don’t know who you even are??? Confused.

Yeah I should sign off. Eighteen is lit. So is alcohol. Don’t drink too much. Good grades are important. I still want to get into dental school.

11.33 pm April 27 2017

Yeah what the fuck April 27 is really mundane. No one really has this birthday and no one really remembers what happens except for me because it’s my birthday and it was just a normal day of school and everyone went about their business and you know what the only good thing was, coming home to a cake my dad slaved over and alcohol and my family gathering and my honey calling me and laughing when I was drunk. People are fun. You’re fun. I love people. But in all honesty I was just glad there wasn’t a lot of attention on me. All good. I should stop drunk ranting.

Oh man what’s that Hemingway thing, write drunk, edit sober. Fuck yeah. I should do that. I fucking love Hemingway. I love literature. Honey let’s read together. Come into my world, and my crib. I’ll show you everything. I’ll open you up to life. Fuck yeah. Ok I should sign out for realll

 

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