412: We Broke Up!
Yeah, it’s all in the title. We parted amicably and now we’re friends, albeit we speak a lot less, needless to say.
We broke up last week. I can tell you that the five stages of grief are all true, and I’ve experienced them in all their stages mostly not in chronological order. I don’t think I can list all of them, I just remember bargaining and acceptance, which is what I’ve been going through since Saturday. Of course, I’m still upset about it. We are both understandably upset, but it simply didn’t work out. We were good in the beginning, as all couples are in their honeymoon phase, but the pressure of HSC and a matter of incompatibility and making mistakes on each part just didn’t help our relationship thrive. I accept it now, although I still struggle to process it. I must accept it and move on, because I can’t let it affect my exam performance. The last week was painful. I knew I had to break it off because he didn’t want to hurt me, which was sweet of him, but he still ended up hurting me anyway. I forgive him.
In the end, it simply just didn’t work out. He is a good person and will one day be a good father and husband, but he and I are only going to be friends. I don’t really see a possibility of us getting back together anymore. I have shut the glimmer of hope away, because there is no point in hoping and getting disappointed.
So my future man is still out there! The possibilities are endless. I am starting to lose my romantic ideals and notions about “the one”, when the guy I had a whirlwind of seven months with wasn’t. He gave me an infinity within these seven months, and improved me as a person, and I can’t thank you enough for that. Thank you. But I don’t know if he still checks my blog. People change. Hm.
I am looking forward to meeting new people and falling in love again, maybe just not right now hahaha…love my last year of high school!!! So I’m still going to post, but less of the romantic stuff. More realistic experiences, struggles, student life, stuff like that. Reconnecting with people who are going to stick around in life as well. Listening to music before him. Getting my priorities straight.
SERENDIPITOUS, STOP SUFFERING. IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON. REMEMBER THIS EVERY TIME YOU FEEL HEAVY IN YOUR HEART AND YOU THINK OF THE WORD “ACETONE” (it is honestly weird, when I get that heavy feeling in my chest, the word acetone comes up, I just don’t know why); BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT. HE IS NOT THE ONE. THE ONE IS A SILLY ROMANTIC CONCEPT PLANTED IN YOUR HEAD BY THE ENDLESS AMOUNTS OF ROM-COMS YOU’VE WATCHED.
Ok, I needed that. Phew. Time to go back to studying.