419: Senior Dodgeball Challenge!
3-0, we lost to the boys’ school, obviously. But it was so much fun in itself!
This is the first day since I last saw my ex on my birthday date. I reflect and think upon this and I say, well fuck it. I was playing in Team 3 and I was going to stay on for as long as I could but I felt a ball graze my foot and I knew I was out and nobody called me out on it but it wasn’t like I was going to stay on for long anyway.
So I made my way off the court. And I bumped into an old friend. We hadn’t spoken in more than a year, and we did a bit of catching up. But then I felt like I had to go speak to him one last time. The guy who made seven months of my life…interesting, to say the least. One word responses, didn’t make that much eye contact with me, didn’t want me to be there, obviously. I mean, all the boys were on one side of their gym and we were on the other side and I made my way to him and so everyone would be judging me but I don’t care about what other people thought about what they saw today. I can only think of what we said, how different the people we are now compared to that day we first met in August, and I can’t help but feel sad that this is what it has come to. I’m not in love with him anymore. I’m not in love with anybody, actually.
For the first time in a while (as in, two weeks tops), I feel incredibly upset and sad. Depressed. Feeling melancholy. It’s for the best. The person he is now is not somebody I want to be with. It’s probably better that I leave him alone indefinitely. He doesn’t seem comfortable with me anymore. People change. Shit happens.
And this is also the first time that I braided my hair from the top of my head (well, Joanna did it for me). I’m halfway to becoming a ratchet LG. But I don’t think I could ever pull that character off, LOL. It’s just not my style. But it definitely has made me feel younger than I am. Feels good. Youth is not eternal.